March 8, 2011
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I am unfortnunately afraid this blog is steadfastly transitioning to a fail blog. I guess a small part of me still thinks writing out my inner twistings will somehow straighten out the pipes. I hope I’m right…
I have joined twitter. I was advised it was a sharp move for my career, although I’m beginning to question the logic. I have had several magazines follow me, good culture and art magazines from Montreal, San Fransisco, and someone in Dallas, an illustration blogger in Israel. I was noticing for all this new attention, I am only capping at 14 followers; I investigated, in turn to find that all of these people have completely rid themselves of me. Some are following thousands of people, but they have no interest in adding me permanently to their numbers. I am beside myself. I have checked- these are bonafide peoples. What am I then??
I have a facebook page (again, good for my career, right?) and no one likes it. That’s right, zero fans. I WANT to be better. I want my work to be fresh and fun. Mostly I want to not be afraid. These people have not directly told me “You suck,” and I’m ready to crumple. I hate still being afraid. When does it get easier? When will my work look more mature? Maybe I’m not cut out for this- really, I am not seeing consistent work (most of which is unpaid, rule #1 of surviving on skill), I am not consistent in my work, I am still learning many processes most people have already, ….
You know what? Let’s stop this. I am a personable girl and people are constantly charmed by me genuine nature. I have made some wonderful connections based on that alone. I am colorful, cute, round, and quirky in my execution. I am surrounded by extremely talented friends who would give me any amount of criticism I could manage (and then some). I have brilliant instructors that want to hear of my progress and successes/failures. I have plenty of inspiration to glean from those around me. I AM STILL NEW TO THIS GAME. I haven’t been computer savvy for years, nor have I had an impressive web presence, but that’s okay! I have learned how to managed my time, work quickly, find fast and reliable solutions, met interesting people. I live in the Midwest, which is not at the moment the land of opportunity. The odds are against me to win, but I may just succeed.
It’s not over. Thanks for the ear.
